Without You
by trinchardin
Summary: the prologue before 'I Know Who I Am' at the request of sparks - luv ur work!...morpheus x orig.character...
1. Default Chapter Title

Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it. Nova and Zora are mine. The Hope and its entire crew, including Spark, is also mine. Oh and so is the added crew of the Nebuchadnezzar.   
  
Author's Note: This is not an Agent fic, rather it might remind people of my 'I Remember' fic. I wrote this at the request of ~Sparks~ and it is a Morpheus x Original Character pairing. The setting is mostly Zion, the Nebuchadnezzar, and Nova's ship - the Hope. You might recognize the ship and its crew from my Spark fics. In case you people get confused, I have a list of the crew below. And, btw, the Pixy here is entirely different from the Pixy in 'I Know Who I Am'. However, both of them are mine.  
  
Added note to Inity: I did't know he had a love interest in the coming flicks...where did you hear that? And I've been out of touch lately because my internet crashed...grrr...that's why I only uploaded this now. It's been done for days.  
  
Crew Members of the Hope:  
  
Fuse - short, red-headed captain; even-tempered with obsessive-compulsive tendencies  
Merc - dark-haired second-in-command; strong, silent type  
Byte - dark-haired operator from Zion  
Crash - brown-haired, blue-eyed medic  
Karma - dark-haired programmer; silent and aloof  
Spark - red-haired, green-eyed programmer; cheerful personality  
Nova - dark-haired, green-eyed figher  
Pixy - blonde, blue-eyed fighter  
Cable - well-built, dark-haired fighter  
Shock - albino newbie; shy and silent; uneasy around people  
  
Crew Members of the Nebuchadnezzar:  
  
Hypnos - former captain   
Morpheus - newly instated captain  
Micro, 'Mic' - brown-haired programmer  
Macro, 'Mac' - brown-haired fighter  
Dozer  
Tank  
Switch  
Apoc  
  
Dedicated to ~Sparks~, who pleaded for a prequel.  
  
Without You  
  
"Damnit."  
  
Nova cursed under her breath then grimaced as the leak she'd been trying to fix widened into a gaping hole of rushing filthy water. Grabbing a greasy rag, she stuffed it into the hole to stop the flow before pulling herself out from under the pipes.   
  
"I distinctly remember someone saying that fixing the leak was the easiest thing in the world."  
  
Spark smiled cheekily as she handed her friend a clean rag to wipe her face. Ignoring the other's scowl, she helped Nova up and took her place under the pipes. Seconds later, she came out with a look of satisfaction and wiped her hands clean on her already dirty pants.  
  
"That's how it's done."  
  
Nova rolled her eyes, muttering the words 'Show off' to herself. Spark's grin just grew wider as she helped Nova put the clunky metal tools back into the assigned box. A tool out of place would have their captain, Fuse, breathing down their necks. Despite her name, their captain was mostly even-tempered but she disliked the idea of disorder, especially on board her ship, the Hope.   
  
After they'd cleaned up the mess, the two headed for the shower room where they quickly washed up before dinner was announced. When they got to the dining room, everyone except for Crash, who was on duty, was there. Fuse frowned slightly at their tardiness then nodded in the direction of their usual seats. Grinning guiltily, they rushed to their seats as Fuse began to speak.  
  
"I just received a message from the Nebuchadnezzar. They will be meeting us at a cavern not far from here in a few days. They're short of crew members because of a recent run-in with Agents."  
  
The short, redheaded woman paused for a moment as her crew absorbed the information. They grimly looked back at her in silence. They knew what it was like to lose people to the Agents. They'd lost friends as well as lovers to the unfeeling programs. Clearing her throat, she continued. She wasn't sure how they'd react to the next thing she'd say. But, she was sure that some, like her second-in-command Mercury, already suspected what it was that she'd say.  
  
"Because they are lacking in crew members, they asked if one of us could help them get back on their feet. Being my second-in-command, you're out of the question, Merc..."  
  
At his place next to her, the dark-haired man nodded in understanding.  
  
"...Crash is the only medic we have on board so we can't spare him. Shock is a newbie, so he's out, too..."  
  
Nova noticed the young man across her relax and sigh softly in relief. With his albino white hair and almost colorless eyes, he'd been an outcast most of his life and was still uneasy around people.  
  
"...Karma, I need you here to work on that new program..."  
  
The man didn't bother to reply as he continued to stare at some invisible point. The unnerving habit and his aloof manner caused him to be left alone by the entire crew, making Nova wonder what went on inside the programmer's head.  
  
"...Spark, you have to stay and help Karma..."  
  
The perky redhead wrinkled her nose in disgust at Fuse's words. It was no secret that there was a long-standing feud between the two programmers.  
  
"...Byte, being our operator, you're out too...Cable, with that injured leg of yours, you won't be much help...so, I guess it'll have to be Nova or Pixy."  
  
"Don't you need a healty fighter to stay on board?" Pixy asked with a frown.   
  
Everyone smirked at her question. They all knew that she wanted to stay behind so that she could take care of Cable. Having almost lost him in a recent encounter with the Agents, she was worried about losing him so soon after he'd admitted his feelings for her.   
  
"I'll go," Nova finally spoke up, a wry grin on her lips.  
  
Fuse nodded in approval and everyone began to dig into the slop they called food. After dinner, Fuse took her aside and briefed Nova on the situation.  
  
"When I said that the Nebuchadnezzar was short on crew, that was an understatement. There are only four out of the original crew of ten left. Even the captain, Hypnos, is dead. His second-in-command Morpheus took over after only a month of being the next in command. As you can guess, he's pretty shaken about his new position. I've met him and I know he's capable of handling the job, but he'll need your support.   
  
Aside from that, unless they get replacements from Zion soon, you might have to stay with them for some time. I heard that they're getting someone from there to be the operator, but they still need a few more to make it a complete crew. Do you think you can handle this?"  
  
"I guess..."  
  
"I guess, isn't going to cut it when you're there, Nova. Can you do it or not?"  
  
Nova's green eyes flashed rebelliously at her captain's harsh words as she nodded sharply in the affirmative.  
  
"Good."  
  
  
A week later found Nova tinkering with the Nebuchadnezzar's pipe system. This time she was more successful. Ever since she'd arrived, she'd been helping Dozer, the ship mechanic, to repair the broken-down parts of the ship. Well, that and backing the new captain Morpheus with everything he said. Thank goodness, Fuse was right and what Morpheus said actually made sense. That and the fact that the crew was as close as hers made her job easy.   
  
Just a day or so ago, they'd stopped at Zion to bury the bodies of those who'd died. They were also there to see if they could find any replacements for the crew. The new operator was already on board. Born and raised in Zion, Tank turned out to be the brother of Dozer. A cheerful and talkative youth, he made it his job to cheer up his older brother who was depressed over the loss of his friends. The ship's twins Mac and Mic were obviously forcing their cheery behavior, but they seemed to be holding up pretty well. The brothers were close and if one of them had died, things would have definitely been different.   
  
As for Morpheus, he was calm and pretty much in control. Nova was starting to wonder what Fuse meant about him not being able to handle his new position. It was only a day later that she realized how wrong she was. She'd just finished her shift at the computers with Tank replacing her. As she headed towards her room, she happened to pass by the captain's quarters.   
  
With her sharp hearing, she heard him tossing and turning in an uneasy sleep then a sudden shout of terror. Considering that the rooms next to his were empty, it was no wonder that no one knew about his sleepless nights. She stayed a moment longer to hear him settle down and only left when all she heard was silence from the other side of the door.  
  
The next morning, she caught him alone at the dining room. He was looking silently at the bowl of slop before him. He was obviously lost in thought for he didn't even notice when she entered the room and sat down in front of him. When he did notice, he looked at her for a second as if in a daze then his official mask slipped in place.  
  
"Is everything alright?" He asked, a slight frown of worry on his face.  
  
"I was just going to ask you that," she said softly, tilting her head to one side to study him better.   
  
He bristled at her unwanted attention and looked stonily back at her.  
  
"Nothing is wrong with me," he said firmly, if not convincingly.   
  
He quickly stalked out of the room, his bowl of slop untouched and forgotten. Nova sighed softly to herself after he'd left. Things were not looking good.  
  
She knew he wanted to believe that everything was alright. He forced himself to accept the lie because he seriously thought that if he wasn't in control everything would fall apart. And he was right. But, not on both counts. Things would fall apart if he should lose his control, but he would still lose it if this martyrish behavior continued. He was keeping all the guilt and pain locked up inside of him. Hidden there, they would fester like an unclean wound. Then, one day he would reach his breaking point and everything would go to hell.  
  
  
Considering that her subtle questioning had failed, she decided to take direct action. The following evening, she knocked at his quarters, which served as his room as well as his office.  
  
"Come in." His voice calm and composed.  
  
Nova entered the room and stopped before his desk, where he was hard at work.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
She noticed the wary look in his eye and knew that he suspected she was here to talk about yesterday. Too bad. he was right.  
  
"Have a seat," he said, gesturing to the other chair in the room.   
  
She nodded her thanks and sat down, talking a deep breath before she began.  
  
"You lied."  
  
"Excuse me?" He asked, his brown eyes looking up from his work to meet her stubborn green ones.  
  
"You lied."  
  
"About what, may I ask?" He said as he put down the papers he'd been reading. She did not miss the flicker of worry that crossed his usually inscrutable face.  
  
"About how you were. You are NOT alright."  
  
"Be careful of your tone and words, Nova. I am the captain of this ship."   
  
His voice had taken on a hard edge, but she saw the growing uneasiness in his eyes. She had to make him see that keeping his emotions hidden and refusing to mourn his loss was not going to help matters aboard the ship. It would only make them worse. She'd rather he hate her for forcing him to accept the truth than to see him fall apart. So, she forged on relentlessly.   
  
"A ship of which I am not a crew member. I am not under your command."  
  
"You are while you remain aboard. Remember that."  
  
"You know what your problem is?" She said in an equally cold voice, her tone clearly insolent.  
  
"I'm sure you're going to tell me."  
  
"It's simple. With your unexpected - maybe even unwanted - burden of leadership and responsibility, you can't get yourself to mourn your friends' deaths and recover from your loss like any normal, feeling person would. Instead, you harden yourself to everything, refusing to admit the pain and the guilt. You keep up a facade of unshakeable calm and stabilty. And why?"  
  
She paused for a brief moment to catch her breath and saw the blood begin to drain from his face.  
  
"And why?" She repeated mercilessly. "Because you feel that if you showed any weakness...any small sign of human frailty...they wouldn't show you the same respect they do now. Instead, they would think you weak and incompetent. That's what you fear. And it's really a shame because you could be a good captain if only you'd let yourself be human. Don't you think you could have not only their respect for you as a captain, but their friendship as well for being one of them - someone with feelings and not some callous, cold-blooded person?"  
  
With those last words, she stood up and left the room, leaving him to his thoughts. After she'd shut the door behind her, she stood in the corridor as if frozen on the spot. She could not believe that she'd just lectured him like that. He hadn't said anything in reply, just sat and stared at her with those deep dark brown eyes of his.   
  
Her head jerked up in surprise as she saw the door swing open once more and looked to see him standing at the doorway. For a long moment, they just stood there in the empty hall. They were inches away from each other, yet their minds were far away. Finally, he snapped out of his reverie and reached out to lay a hand on her shoulder. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. She looked up to meet his eyes and a jolt of pain ran through her as she saw the look in his eyes. The consuming pain and guilt she saw there tore at her heart.  
  
"I..." He began, then his voice broke.  
  
Eyes bright with tears, he bit his lip and looked away. He looked so young and vulnerable - so unlike the calm, confident dark youth that had greeted her when she'd arrived. So, this was the person hiding behind the facade - a scared young man who'd been forced to grow up too fast, too soon. She took him into her arms and held him close, not saying anything.   
  
Gently leading him back to the privacy of his room, she shut the door close and helped him to his cot. He still held on tightly to her, refusing to let her go. She remained silent and continued to hold him close all through the night.  
  
The next morning, she woke to find him sound asleep next to her. Careful not to wake him, she silently slipped out from under the covers and put on her clothes. Then, after checking that the hall was empty, she left the room and crept down the hall to her own room. Once there, she shut the door and leaned against it, sliding down to sit and tuck her long legs under her chin.   
  
What had she done? She'd only wanted to get him back on his feet like she was supposed to. She wasn't supposed to end up in bed with him. That thoughtless action could just make things worse. Thoughtless...yes, she definitely hadn't been thinking last night. He might have made the first move, but she certainly hadn't done anything to dissuade him. She couldn't excuse her actions by saying she'd only been trying to comfort him. She knew the truth. She'd fallen for him. Hard. And when he made a move on her, she'd come running. He'd caught her by surprise and they'd wound up in bed together. He probably thought she was some slut, who jumped into bed with every red-blooded male. Damnit.  
  
She avoided him after that, which was pretty hard considering how small the ship was. During the few times she did bump in to him, she quickly thought up an excuse to leave soon after. He gave up after a few days and started giving her instructions through the other crew members. Still, she was happy to see that he'd lightened up on himself a little bit. He wasn't as aloof as before and she'd even caught him laughing once at a joke of Tank's.  
  
  
Having learned that Zion didn't have anymore replacements to offer, Morpheus decided to look over some potentials in the Matrix as well as the 'spares' of some other ships. They left Zion and started meeting other ships to pick up those people. On one ship, they picked up Switch, a teenager with bleached hair and intense eyes that seemed to see right through a person. Being the only other female on board, Nova tried to make friends with her, but the younger girl was distant and cold. She sort of reminded Nova of Karma back on the Hope. A week later, a dark-haired teenager by the name of Apoc joined them. The strong and silent type, he kept mostly to himself.   
  
On a ship where people minded their own business, the atmosphere wasn't exactly conducive to making close and lasting relationships. And now that he had new crew members to think about, Morpheus had set up his in-control facade again. He didn't want to let his crew down, so he slowly detached himself from the others and began acting more and more like his former unfeeling self. Only the occasional pranks of Tank lightened things up and even that didn't get much laughs anymore.  
  
Pushing away her personal problems, she decided to take matters into her own hands and have another talk with Morpheus. It was about time she talked to him anyway. She just couldn't keep on avoiding him, especially when she hadn't heard from her own crew recently. It seemed like she was going to be on board the Nebuchadnezzar for a long time; she had to get used to being there and working with the crew.  
  
Knocking softly on his door, she entered as soon as he heard his voice.  
  
"Oh, it's you."  
  
He put down the file he'd been reading and nodded towards the other chair. She took it with a forced, uneasy smile on her lips.  
  
"Yes, it's me."  
  
He cleared his throat and waited for her to speak. From the way his hands were clenched before him on the table, she guessed that he was just as nervous as she was. When she still refused to say anything, he remarked casually.  
  
"I haven't heard from your captain recently. You might be staying here a little longer than expected. With the three new members, we don't really need you anymore...uh, I mean..."  
  
She absently thought of how cute he was when he was flustered before hurriedly reassuring him that she understood what he meant.  
  
"I know what you mean..."  
  
"Oh...well, that's fine then..."  
  
"Yes..."  
  
She swallowed nervously, her throat dry and words refusing to come out.  
  
"...about that night..." She finally started, the rest coming out in a rush. "I know you must think I'm some slut who took advantage of you when you were vulnerable...I didn't mean that to happen...not that I don't like you...the problem is I do like you and now you probably don't like me...expecially after I've been avoiding you and all..."  
  
She cracked a nervous smile as she stopped abruptly. He just sat, staring at her in disbelief.   
  
'Great,' she thought. 'Now, he probably thinks I'm some ditz. Shit, you were suppose to keep your personal problems out of this, Nova. I swear you really are a ditz.'  
  
"Nova..." He started hesitantly after an uneasy pause. "I don't think you're some...slut..." He blushed as he said the words and she couldn't help but smile when she saw that. "...and as for that night...well, it wasn't your fault, I made the first move and you probably thought that you were trying to comfort me..."  
  
"I wasn't," she said before she could stop herself. She flushed red as he looked at her in shock. Unable to control herself, everything else came pouring out. "I mean...I tried using that as an excuse, but the truth is I've liked you ever since I came on board...I mean you know you were the young, in-control captain...and..."  
  
'Shit, I sound like some babbling school girl with a crush...well, fine so technically I AM a babbling school girl with a crush...I mean I'm about eighteen and he's only a year or so older than me...but, shit...I didn't come here to get a boyfriend...'  
  
"Oh, I see...I suppose that should make me feel better then..." He said uneasily.  
  
"I suppose," she agreed lamely. "Well, I just thought that I should clear things up, seeing as I'm going to be here for some time."  
  
"Is that really why you came?" He asked curiously. "After you've been avoiding me and all..."  
  
She flushed again as she was caught in her own lie.  
  
"Well, actually, I came to try and get you to lighten up on yourself. You might be captain, but you're also human. I'm sure you're crew understands that."  
  
He smiled as he heard her words and nodded.  
  
"Why is it that you're the only one who can come up to me and tell me the truth?"  
  
"I don't know. Because I'm the only one who isn't going to be around forever? Soon or later, I'm going to go back to my own ship..."  
  
"Right..." His smile faded at that. "...Nova...about us..."  
  
He shifted uncomfortably in his seat as she turned red and looked down on the floor.  
  
"...Is there anything at all aside from physical attraction or comfort...something to base an actual...ahhh, long-term...relationship on?"  
  
She just knew she was as red as a tomato when she heard his words. She wished the floor would open up and swallow her. She bit her lip and spoke so softly he had to lean forward to catch her words.  
  
"I really don't know..."  
  
"Well...like you said...you're not really one of my crew, so we don't have the standard captain-subordinate relationship...there wouldn't be anything wrong about a...relationship...between us..."  
  
'Oh shit, he's serious. He really likes me...but, I don't know yet how I really feel about him...I don't want to lead him on and then dump him when I realize I don't feel the same way...'  
  
"Like I said, I don't know...can I think about this for awhile?" She asked nervously, biting unconciously at her lip.  
  
"Sure, I don't want to rush you into something you might regret..."  
  
'Why the hell must he be such a sweet, understanding, and vulnerable guy...shit, I am seriously falling for him...this was definitely NOT part of the gameplan...'  
  
"Ummm...ok..."  
  
"And Nova..." He began, almost shyly.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"If it doesn't work out between us...I'll understand...and I'd still like to be friends...if want, that is..."  
  
"I'd like that." She agreed with a shy smile. She bit her lip again, then finally got up and left.  
  
'What a sweetheart,' she thought with a sigh as she walked down the corridor.  
  
  
"Well, that takes care of it," Nova said with a happy sigh.  
  
She accepted Tank's hand and get up from her position under the bridge communications system. It had conked out the other day and she had to do it because Dozer couldn't fit under the tight space.  
  
"You've got a really magic touch when it comes to fixing up things...and I don't mean just mechanical problems," Tank grinned with a not so subtle nod in the direction of Morpheus who was talking to Dozer near them.  
  
She flushed slightly, then tossed her head haughtily as she fixed her long hair in a ponytail.  
  
"I have no idea what you're talking about."  
  
"Yeah right..." Then, he continued in a serious voice. "But, you know I'm glad you got together. Morpheus really needs someone to turn to when he gets down in the dumps - which happens a lot considering his job."  
  
"Do the others know that we're...you know..." She flushed.  
  
"They'd have to be blind not to know."  
  
"Do they mind? I mean he is captain and all that..."  
  
"Considering how it doesn't get in the way of your jobs, not really. Besides, without you, we all know that he'd have driven us crazy long before."  
  
"Oh really..." She smiled mischievously. "So, you guys consider me some sort of savior, huh?"  
  
"I wouldn't go that far..." He said with that devil-may-care twinkle in his eye.  
  
She shook her head with a laugh then turned to the communications system, turning it back on with a flip of a switch. The system buzzed to life, various buttons on the panel lighting up. She pushed a button to catch what calls they'd missed and listened absently to the system's vocal reply.  
  
*1 missed call from Zion command...2 missed calls from Zion command...1 missed call from the Hope. A total of 3 missed calls.*  
  
"What?!?" Her green eyes blinked in surprise as she heard about the call from the Hope.   
  
She hadn't heard from her ship lately because they'd been out on a mission and beyond the standard transmission range for communications. She frowned as she punched in the communication number of the Hope and waited for it to connect.   
  
"What's wrong?" Morpheus asked with a frown as he joined her at the system unit.   
  
"There was a missed message from my ship. It could be nothing...but..." She trailed off, leaving her statement unfinished as her fingers tapped impatiently on the panel.  
  
"I'm sure it's nothing. They probably just wanted to know how you were doing," he reassured her.  
  
She nodded in reply, staring intently at the panel. Finally, a loud beep was heard as the connection was made.  
  
*Connection with the Hope confirmed.*  
  
The screen in front of them flickered to life as the face of Merc, the Hope's second-in-command, appeared.  
  
"Merc? Where's Fuse?"   
  
She bit her lip anxiously as she saw his pale, bandaged face. Spark stood behind him, her face in a frown as she looked worriedly at Merc.  
  
"She's...she's dead..." He said bluntly, the expression on his face unreadable.  
  
"Dead." She dumbly repeated. In a distant corner of her mind, she sensed Morpheus put a comforting arm around her.   
  
Fuse was dead.   
  
The woman who she'd thought of as her surrogate mother as well as leader was dead.  
  
Dead...  
  
"Anyone else?" She found herself saying in a voice she didn't recognize as her own.   
  
"Crash didn't make it."  
  
"I see."  
  
She wasn't even seeing the screen anymore although her eyes remained on it. Her eyes glazed over as her mind screamed inside her to react. To cry. To scream. Anything.  
  
"Nova..."  
  
She forced herself to look at Spark as her friend gently pushed Merc aside so that she could speak. The usually perky redhead had her green eyes rimmed red from crying while her face was drawn and pale.  
  
"We're going to have a short ceremony for them. We'll returning to Zion to bury them. If you can come..."  
  
"Of course..."  
  
"OK...*crackle*...we need to go now...*crackle*...transmission's breaking...*crackle*...bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
The screen flickered and died as the system spoke in its monotonous, electronic voice.  
  
*Connection with the Hope terminated.*  
  
Nova looked dazedly down at the panel were her hands were clenched and drained of color.  
  
"Nova..." She heard Morpheus say softly from next to her.   
  
"I just need to be alone for awhile." 


	2. Default Chapter Title

Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it. Nova, Zora, and Crystal are mine. The Hope and its entire crew, the Baltazar, and the added crew of the Nebuchadnezzar are also mine.  
  
Crew Members of the Hope:  
  
Merc - dark-haired second-in-command; strong, silent type  
Spark - red-haired, green-eyed programmer; cheerful personality  
Nova - dark-haired, green-eyed figher  
  
Crew Members of the Nebuchadnezzar:  
  
Morpheus - newly instated captain  
Micro, 'Mic' - brown-haired programmer  
Macro, 'Mac' - brown-haired fighter  
Dozer, Tank, Switch, Apoc, Trinity  
  
Without You II  
  
"I just need to be alone for awhile." She heard herself say.   
  
Ignoring the pitying and sympathetic looks of those around her, she turned on her heel and left the bridge. Once in the sanctuary of her room, she curled up in a ball on her bed and let the tears fall. Burying her face on her pillow, she choked back her loud sobs as her fingers clutched at the flimsy pillow cover.  
  
She didn't look up as the door opened and then closed. He silently crossed the room and sat at the edge of her cot next to her. He cleared his throat and paused before speaking.  
  
"Nova...if you need me..."  
  
She shifted to look up at him, a mute look of anguish on her face. Unable to stop himself, he took her in his arms and held her shaking body close. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she buried her face in his chest and clutched tightly at him as if afraid she'd lose him.  
  
They sat like that for some time until her worn-out body finally eased itself into a dreamless sleep. Kissing her lightly on the forehead, he lay her gently down on the bed and pulled the covers over her. He shut the light of her room and left, closing the door behind him.  
  
  
A week later found the Nebuchadnezzar back at Zion. Its crew had already gone on leave, while Morpheus remained with Nova at the docking area. They waited in silence for her friends to pass by for her. They would be arriving on the Hope in a few minutes and had agreed to meet her at the dock.   
  
"Will you be alright?" He asked gently.  
  
She nodded as her fingers fidgeted on the tattered edge of her well worn shirt. She'd been quiet the entire trip back to Zion, only speaking to Morpheus and Tank who'd become a close friend. Morpheus was worried about her. After her initial outburst, she'd been slightly distant from everyone else, even him.  
  
"Nova, I know what you're going through. I've been there too, remember?"  
  
She returned his sad smile and squeezed back the hand he clasped.  
  
"I just want you to know that I'll always be here for you."  
  
He held her for a moment in a brief hug then let go as her crewmates walked over to join them.  
  
"If you need me, I'll be at the town hall."  
  
She nodded, smiling bravely as she untangled her fingers from his. The crew of the Hope nodded in recognition of him before they walked away with her in their midst. He watched until she disappeared into the crowd and then headed in the opposite direction for the city hall.  
  
  
Nova stood next to Spark during the ceremony. It wasn't very long, an hour at the most. They stood together as the bodies were cremated and than placed in separate urns, each with the name of the person on it. The jars were then carried down into a crypt and placed in a niche with the ship's name engraved on the arch above. It was there that the ashes of all former crew members were laid to rest. After a moment of silence, the crew separated to take their leave. Spark and Merc waited outside for Nova to come out. She'd been the last to leave.  
  
"How did it happen?" She asked, her lips in a grim line.  
  
"Ambush. Crash was shot almost as soon as we got in. And Fuse...she was shot pretty badly. She knew she wasn't going to make it, so she stayed behind so that Pixy could get through. ...I'm sorry, Nova. I know how close you were."  
  
Nova nodded and turned away so they couldn't see her eyes moisten with tears.   
  
"Will you come back with us?" Merc finally spoke, his voice gruff with repressed emotion.  
  
She didn't know what to say. She wanted to go back to her friends, the people she'd practically grown up with. But then, there was Morpheus to think about too. She couldn't leave him. She knew that she needed him as much as he needed her.  
  
"You're in love with him." Spark remarked with a wry grin.  
  
Nova flushed as she turned to look back at them.  
  
"What are you talking about?" She shifted nervously, unconciously beginning to fidget with a stray strand of her long hair.  
  
The redhead just smirked, while Merc smiled faintly and shook his head in amusement.  
  
"You know if you got any redder you'd be the same color as a ripe tomato."  
  
Nova bit her lip and sighed in defeat.  
  
"Is it that obvious?"  
  
Spark just smiled knowingly.  
  
"So, it's really serious between the two of you, huh..."  
  
"I suppose you could say that."  
  
"Has he proposed?"  
  
Spark's eyes sparkled as Nova turned even redder.  
  
"Spark!"  
  
"Oh, come on! I thought you said it was serious between the two of you!"  
  
"It is, but we've never talked about marriage...I mean..."  
  
Merc's eyebrows shot up in surprise. He'd never seen the usually confident Nova look so flustered.  
  
"Leave her alone, Spark," he said wryly.  
  
Nova threw him a grateful look as Spark laughed. Then, Merc became serious.  
  
"We'll be here for a few days or so. If you want to come back, just say so."  
  
She nodded as she nervously bit her lip, a slight frown of worry on her face.  
  
They walked together until the town hall then parted at the gate. She went up the old, crumbling steps of the building then asked at the lobby desk for Morpheus.  
  
"He's over at the archives. Down that corridor and then the fifth hall to your right."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
She followed the man's directions and found herself at the entrance of an enormous vault. It was as about as tall as the building itself, going up to about four or so levels. She walked into the cavernous room in awe of the the silence and enormity of the place. Wrinkling her nose at the musty smell, she made her way through the towering shelves and stopped near the back, where she finally found him.   
  
He was seated at a long table with a pile of thick leather bound volumes before him. Going over one of them, he read with intense concentration. She smiled to herself as she stood half-hidden behind a shelf. She watched lovingly at the way he bit his lip when he was deep in thought. Slipping silently behind him, she rested her hands on his shoulders and leaned down to whisper in his ear.  
  
"Read anything interesting?"  
  
She smiled in amusement as he jerked up in surprise. Realizing it was her, he smiled and touched her cheek to bring her closer for a brief kiss. She joined him at the table and watched as he carefully shut the book and laid it on the pile.  
  
"You read all of those?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"Not really. Just went over a few pages. ...So, where do you want to go?"  
  
"Well, dinner would be nice."  
  
The two left the building hand-in-hand and walked through the crowds to dodge into a small shop.   
  
"What is this place?"  
  
"The place that sells the best slop in town of course."   
  
Nova returned his smile as they took a seat. While they waited for their food, they started to talk and the topic turned to her crew.  
  
"They asked you to come back with them, didn't they?" He asked softly, the expression on his face unreadable as he looked into his drink.  
  
"Yes, they did."   
  
"Did you agree?"  
  
"I told them I'd consider it."  
  
"I see."  
  
The waitress delivered their food as he spoke and the two ate in silence. After they'd finished and paid for the meal, they walked out into the street still not speaking to each other. Nova started to walk in the direction of the ship for it was getting late, but Morpheus' hand on her arm stopped her.   
  
Without a word, he set off in the opposite direction and she followed him unquestioningly. When he finally stopped, Nova found herself at the edge of town. She looked in awe at the huge cavern they'd walked into. Stalactites hung from the stone ceiling miles above them amidst glittering crystals. Around them were lofty stalagmites, smoothed to the image of tall columns by time and the water that flowed at their feet. She laughed softly as she dipped a bare foot in the freezing, clear water. She'd never seen water like this in the real world before.  
  
"It's beautiful here," she said to him from her seat on a rock. "It's like sitting under the stars."  
  
He nodded as he joined her on the rock.  
  
"I found this place the first time I came to Zion. I like to think of it as my private place. A place where I can be alone."  
  
"Do you like it?"  
  
"This place?"  
  
"No...being alone."  
  
"No."  
  
He moved closer to her and entangled his fingers in her hair as he kissed her. When it was over, she rested her head on his chest and whispered so softly he barely heard her.  
  
"I wished we could be like this forever."  
  
"We can."  
  
She peered up at him expectantly, her green eyes shining in the dim light of the cavern.  
  
"Marry me?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
  
It was a quiet ceremony attended by the crews of the Hope and the Nebuchadnezzar as well as the few friends they had in Zion. An official conducted the service and it was not long before the couple lay together in a small inn near the town hall.  
  
"What happens now?"   
  
She asked softly, curled up next to him.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Would Zion mind having a married captain and his wife on the same ship?"  
  
"There's nothing in the books that speak against it."  
  
"So, that's what you were reading at the archives," she said with a bemused look on her face.  
  
"You've found me out," he admitted, his laugh muffled as he buried his face in her hair.  
  
They worked together on board the Nebuchadnezzar for a few years. Then, she found out she was pregnant. Going on maternity leave, she went to live with an old friend who'd been born and raised in Zion. The friend, Crystal, had worked on board the Hope when Nova was still a newbie. An expert programmer, she'd retired early and now worked at the town hall.   
  
Time passed slowly for Nova. Being a fighter who was forced into a long period of inactivity, she spent her days in the archives. She read various books from ancient fantasies to the latest news on Zion technology. One day, she met with Crystal for lunch after her usual trip to the archives. Her friend watched warily as she picked unhappily at her slop.   
  
"Alright, Nova. What's wrong?" The older woman asked in a crisp, no nonsense voice.  
  
"I look terrible," she said glumly, putting down her spoon.  
  
"You look fine for a woman who's six months pregnant."  
  
"I'm fat."  
  
"You're supposed to be fat. You're pregnant. ...This doesn't have anything to do with the newbie Morpheus unplugged, does it? That pretty young girl, Trinity?"   
  
Nova flushed guiltily under the other woman's penetrating gaze.  
  
"Well...maybe it has something to do with that..."  
  
Crystal rolled her eyes.  
  
"Really, Nova. I should think you'd know better than suspect Morpheus of straying from the path. The man has more sense than that. ...Now, why don't you head over to the communications room and have your monthly talk with him. You'll see. You're just being foolish."  
  
Nova sighed and pushed herself up from the table. A hand resting protectively on her bulging belly, she made her way from the canteen to the communications room of the town hall. She waited for a few moments before the connection was made.  
  
She couldn't help but smile as soon as she saw his face on the screen.  
  
"Hello, love," he said, smiling back. "How's the baby?"  
  
"Fine. It won't be long now. Just a few more months. Will you be back by then?"  
  
"Of course. I wouldn't miss it."  
  
Her forehead suddenly furrowed in a frown as she noticed how worn out he looked.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"I'm fine," he said with a weak, reassuring smile. "I just came from the Oracle."  
  
"Really?" She asked surprised. Not many were called to see the enigmatic figure known as the Oracle.  
  
"Yes. She said I'm going to find the One."  
  
"Ohhh...that's wonderful..." She said softly, her green eyes alit.   
  
"I know. I can't believe it's going to be me to find him."  
  
"I can. I always knew you'd do something great and I was right."  
  
"You have so much faith in me, love. I hope that I'll never let you down."  
  
"I don't think you ever will because I know you love me and that's enough."  
  
"Captain..." A faint voice was heard in the background. He grimaced and looked apologetically at her.  
  
"I understand, love. They need you, too."  
  
"I love you."  
  
"Back at you."  
  
She sighed softly as the screen flickered and died. All her foolish doubts had died as soon as she'd seen his face and heard his voice. He loved her just as much as she loved him. She didn't know what she'd do without him.  
  
'Without you, love, things just wouldn't be the same.'   
  
  
"Damn him! Where the hell is he? He promised me he'd be here!"   
  
Her furious tirade was abruptly cut off as another wave of pain came over her and she screamed at the top of her lungs.  
  
"Calm down, Nova! I'm sure he'll be here soon!"  
  
"Calm down! Calm down!" She shouted as if Crystal was crazy. "I've been in labor for who knows how long..."  
  
"An hour or so," the doctor said helpfully. He cringed at the glare she gave him.  
  
"...and he isn't here! He promised me he'd be here! Damn him! It's all his fault!"  
  
"It takes two to tango as the old saying goes, Nova," Crystal said wryly.  
  
"Oh, who's side are you on! Ahhh..."  
  
"Easy there!" Crystal said trying not to grimace in pain as Nova clutched her hand with a death grip.  
  
"I think I see the head!" The doctor cried out excitedly.  
  
"Am I too late?" A frantic Morpheus asked, out of breath as he rushed into the room.  
  
"It's about bloody time you got here!" Nova shouted at him, her face pale and drawn as sweat dripped down her face. "What took you so long?"  
  
"Sorry! I'm so sorry, love!"  
  
"Ahhh..."   
  
"Nova, are you alright?"  
  
"I'm giving birth to your child! Do you think I'm alright? Do I look alright?"  
  
"My, she's got a temper," the doctor said to Morpheus.  
  
"Shut up and help me, you fool!" She screamed furiously at him. "Isn't that what you're suppose to do!?!"  
  
"If you'll just stay calm and push, ma'am..."  
  
"You make it sound so easy! Why don't you try it! Men! They're all the same!" She said the last with a glare at her husband, who looked piteously back at her.  
  
Hours later, the room was in silence and occupied by only Nova and Morpheus, who looked in awe at the little bundle that Nova held in her arms. A dimpled light brown hand curled its tiny fingers around Morpheus' little finger, while big sparkling green eyes looked up curiously at the two faces above it. After awhile, the baby yawned sleepily, long dark lashes casting faint shadows as bright eyes closed in sleep.   
  
Gently kissing the dark fluff of hair, Nova smiled lovingly at her child.  
  
"Isn't she beautiful?" She asked her husband softly, afraid to wake the sleeping baby.  
  
"She has your eyes," he said looking at her glowing face. Her lips curved up in a pleased smile as her cheeks flushed.  
  
"What'll we call her?"  
  
"How about Zora?"  
  
"Zora..." She said thoughtfully, head tilted to one side as she bit her lip. "Arabic for dawn, right?"  
  
He nodded as his gaze returned to the sleeping baby, an affectionate smile on his weary face.  
  
"Yes, we'll call her Zora. ...Do you think things will be better once she grows up?"  
  
"It's our job to try..."  
  
  
Nova smiled as she stood over the crib of her cooing baby, shamelessly talking back in baby talk. Dangling a shiny bauble over the grasping Zora, she didn't notice Crystal silently slip into the room or notice the upset look on the other's face. When she did look up, she frowned as she saw the obvious distress on Crystal's face.  
  
"What's wrong? ...Is it Morpheus?" She asked, her face paling at the idea. Crystal gulped and seemed to hold back her tears as she shook her head and took a seat next to Nova.  
  
"It's the Hope, Nova..."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"We lost contact with the ship a few weeks ago. I didn't want to worry you unnecessarily, so I kept quiet. After all, it could have been nothing. But, finally Zion sent out a ship to search for them. They found the ship destroyed and..." Crystal refused to finish her sentence as she looked away from Nova's pale stricken face. Already the tears had begun to fall on Crystal's face, but Nova still looked dazed.  
  
"What about the crew?" She asked softly, afraid of what she'd hear.  
  
"They found the bodies...they were torn up...they could hardly identify them...they don't know how it happened..."   
  
Crystal's voice finally failed her and she could only look in pity at Nova. Clearly stunned, the younger woman sat as if frozen, ignoring her child's confused cries.  
  
"No...it's not possible..."  
  
"I'm so sorry, Nova..."  
  
"All of them..."  
  
Nova's head snapped up and her moist eyes narrowed as Crystal didn't speak.  
  
"All of them?" She repeated in a shaky voice, trying to choke back a sob.  
  
"Spark's body is missing. They don't know why."  
  
"Do they know anything at all?" Nova cried in anguish, rising to her feet.   
  
Crystal didn't have a chance to reply as Nova's attention was distracted by her increasingly loud child.  
  
"Hush, darling. It's alright...it's alright..."  
  
The baby's cries slowly died as Nova picked her up and held her tight. But as if sensing her mother's distress, she looked worriedly up at her. Nova wished miserably that she could mean what she said. Her entire 'family' was dead. If what had happened to the rest of the crew was any proof, Spark had to be dead too. Her husband, her child, and Crystal were all she had left. If she were to lose them too...  
  
"It's alright..."  
  
  
"Are you sure, Crsytal?" Nova asked, her lips pursed up in a pout as she juggled her squirming toddler in her arms. "I don't know how long I'll be gone..."  
  
"We'll be fine, Nova," she said reassuringly as she took Zora into her arms. "I've taken care of her before."  
  
"Yes, but not for such a long period of time... This job on board the Baltazar is the best I can take because it's a rescue ship. I won't be away for so long, like Morpheus..." She looked wearily at Zora, who was contentedly sucking at her thumb. She pulled her daughter's hand from her mouth with a shake of her head. "Don't do that, darling."  
  
"Go on, Nova. Me and Zora here will be fine."  
  
"Yeah. Go on, Mommy. Me and Aunt Crystal will be fine," her daughter said cheerily.  
  
"Alright. Give Mommy a kiss."  
  
She smiled at the sloppy kiss her daughter gave her, patting her chubby cheek as she kissed the top of her head.  
  
"Be a good girl and listen to Aunt Crystal, OK?"  
  
"OK, Mommy! Bye!"  
  
"Bye, darling."  
  
Nova quickly walked down the street and towards the dock, where she'd meet her new captain and ship. As she made her way to the crowd, she smiled as she saw her husband at the dock talking to his second-in-command, Trinity. The young woman listened attentively to him as he gestured to some supplies that were being loaded on board the ship.  
  
"Hey, love," she called out as she came within hearing distance.  
  
He smiled as he saw her and gave her a quick kiss. Noticing the dufflebag slung over her shoulder, he spoke.  
  
"So, you're taking the job."  
  
"Yup. Zora seemed to take it pretty well. I just hope she doesn't run Crystal ragged."  
  
"I wouldn't count on that if I were you."  
  
"I know," she laughed, brushing back a loose strand of her long hair. Then, her forehead furrowed in a frown. "You'll be careful, won't you?"  
  
"I'll be fine, love," he said reassuringly, brushing her cheek gently with his hand.  
  
It had been more than a year since the demise of her former crew, but Nova was still worried each time he left on a mission.   
  
"Just make sure you come back in one piece."  
  
"I'll try, love."  
  
After one last lingering kiss, he reluctantly let her go and watched as she disappeared into the crowd. Looking back at his crew, he scowled at the smirking Tank, who'd seen the whole thing.  
  
"Back to work, Tank."  
  
"Yes, sir," he said with a mock salute and a knowing grin.  
  
  
Out of breath and lungs burning, she forced herself to run as fast as her feet could carry her. She dared not chance a look behind her, but she knew that the Agent was not far behind.   
  
It had been a simple rescue mission, but as it turned out they were the ones in need of rescue. In some distant corner of her mind, she mourned the death of those she'd known for too short a time. One by one, she'd seen them die and now she was the last one left. She tossed her cellphone away after the operator refused to answer again. She feared what could be happening on the other end. Where the rumors true? Did mechanical monsters hunt them down like animals in the real world? If so, her ticket out of the Matrix might be gone.   
  
Still, she couldn't think of anything else to do and refused to give up the tiny sliver of hope she still had. So, she continued to run towards the exit that the operator had given when she'd still been able to contact him.   
  
She shoved her way through the crowd, ignoring their glares and shouts. Then, she dashed up the stairs of a rusting fire escape and dodged into an empty room, barely missing a bullet. She leapt out the other window of the room, crashing floors below onto a striped awning. She quickly slid off and ran into the nearby alley. Her heart leapt to her throat as she saw the telephone booth. The telephone wasn't ringing...and the Agent was waiting right next to it. She was truly on her own.  
  
"Escape is futile, Ms. Monroe."  
  
She heard him say as he pulled out his Desert Eagle and pointed it straight at her.  
  
Then, darkness enveloped her...  
  
  
"Why must you be so uncooperative?" The Agent hissed as another one of them injected her with a clear foreign substance.  
  
Bloody and bruised, she sat handcuffed to the cold metal chair. Back ramrod straight. Face inscrutable. Only her flashing defiant green eyes revealed any emotion.  
  
"You're captain and crew are dead. No one will even attempt to rescue you for they surely think you are dead. You might as well cooperate."  
  
She stubbornly chose to remain silent, looking right back at the Agent's unconcealed frigid blue eyes. He shook his head in disgust and turned away from her to stand behind his colleague, who was at a computer.   
  
When the unexpected pain cut through her, she couldn't hold back a loud gasp. Then, she began to shake convulsively in a sudden seizure. Disoriented, her vision blurred as the room began to spin before her. She heard their voices as if they came from far away although they were right next to her. Somehow she knew that this was not suppose to happen.  
  
"What's wrong?" She heard the first Agent snap at his colleague.  
  
"The code is being rejected."  
  
"Impossible."  
  
By then, she had already begun to lose consciousness and her last thoughts were of those she'd loved and left behind.   
  
  
Morpheus briskly finished giving instructions to his crew before dismissing them. Quickly scanning the dock, he smiled as he saw his fidgeting daughter next to an unusually somber Crystal. He didn't seem to notice though as Zora ran into his arms for a hug.  
  
"Has my little girl been good?"  
  
"Of course, Daddy! I'm always good!"  
  
"We'll see what your aunt has to say about that," he said, returning her mischievous smile.   
  
His smile quickly turned to a frown though when he noticed the look on Crystal's face. She shook her head in warning before he could speak and started ahead of them towards the apartment they shared. He walked quickly after her with a happily chattering Zora in his arms, wondering what was wrong. He followed her up to the apartment and waited as she opened the door with her key card. He slipped in after her as it slid open and let his daughter down on the ground.  
  
"Daddy..."  
  
"Yes, love," he said absently, staring intently at Crystal for any sign of what was wrong.  
  
"...when is Mommy coming back?"  
  
He stiffened as he saw a flicker of pain cross Crystal's face then disappear. She turned away from him and headed for the kitchen without a word. Keeping his facial expression relaxed so as not to worry her, he turned his attention back to his daughter.  
  
"When was the last time you saw her?"  
  
"Not since you and Mommy left, Daddy."  
  
His insides clenched in a tight ball as he heard her words. He'd been gone for more than six months. Nova should have been back in half that time.  
  
"Will she come back next time with you, Daddy?" His daughter asked innocently as she fiddled with his shirt buttons.  
  
"Maybe, darling."  
  
"I miss her," she said wistfully, her lips in a cute pout.  
  
"I miss her, too," he agreed as he gave her a hug. "Why don't you wash up for dinner? I think your aunt will have it ready soon."  
  
"OK."  
  
He watched her trot out of the room then headed for the kitchen where Crystal was chopping vegetables at the counter.  
  
"What happened, Crystal?"  
  
"It's like what happened to the Hope," she said softly, her voice choked up with emotion. "They found the ship in ruins and the crew dead."  
  
"You haven't told Zora that her mother is dead."   
  
His voice was flat and without emotion. The denial already beginning to set in.   
  
"They don't know for sure...they didn't find her body..."  
  
A flicker of hope appeared in his eyes.  
  
"You mean..."  
  
"Don't..." She pleaded, whirling to face him with eyes bright from unshed tears.  
  
"Don't what?" He asked in a strangled voice. "Don't hope? They didn't find a body. She could still be alive."  
  
"Don't do this, Morpheus." She moved closer to him and clasped at his arm. "Think of Zora. You can't let her live on this false hope. You know what they do to rebels. You've seen it first-hand. She's dead. I know it's hard, but we have to accept it. The only reason I haven't told Zora was because I thought you should be the one to tell her."  
  
"Well, I won't," he said firmly, pulling his arm away. "I refuse to give her up, Crystal. I know that she wouldn't have wanted me to. She's alive somewhere and I'm going to find her."  
  
With those last words, he turned on his heel and left her to weep silently. He didn't stop until he reached the door of his daughter's room. Knocking on it, he waited until she answered before entering. He watched affectionately as she fumbled with the buttons of her fresh shirt. He stood back waiting for her to finish, reluctant to offer unwanted help. Even at the age of four, she was already fiercely independent and strong-willed...so much like her mother. He sighed softly as he sat on her bed to wait. When she was finished, she climbed onto his lap and waited for him to speak. The green eyes she'd inherited from her mother peered up at him curiously.  
  
"What's wrong, Daddy?"  
  
"Mommy...Mommy won't be coming back for some time."  
  
"Why not?" Her face scrunched up in a frown. "She didn't leave you like Alt's mommy left her daddy, did she?"  
  
Morpheus looked at her in obvious surprise.  
  
"No, she didn't."  
  
Zora nodded happily.  
  
"I knew she wouldn't leave you. Mommy loves you and she loves me. So, why isn't she coming back?"  
  
The frown had returned and Morpheus sincerely wished he could say something to make it go away.  
  
"Mommy has a job to do, like me. And to do it, she needs to go away for some time."  
  
"But, she'll come back, right?"  
  
"Right..."  
  
  
Fastforward in time...  
  
Leaving the bright daylight of the city streets above, he slowly descended the concrete steps that led underground to the dimly lit subway station. Idly studying his surroundings, he walked practically unobserved by the rushing crowd of working people on their way to work. Aside from the few casual glances thrown his way, he might as well have been invisible. And frankly, that was the way he liked it. It was the only way to keep himself from being discovered and subsequently chased by Agents.   
  
Edging away from the crowd, he melted into the shadows of the walls liberally sprinkled with colorful ads. Although it looked like he was waiting for the crowd to thin out a little, he was really scanning the crowd for the potential his friend had spoken of.  
  
His friend had insisted that he check out the potential for despite her advanced age she was highly skilled with computers. So, he'd agreed to check the woman to judge if she'd make it through the initiation stage. They'd been keeping tails on her for some time now and Morpheus had just been informed by one of them that she was headed in this direction as scheduled.  
  
Jet-black hair. Green eyes. A real stunner, his friend had said. Due to the recent trouble with transmissions, he hadn't been able to see an actual picture of her. But, his friend had promised to download it to him as soon as possible.  
  
Suddenly, a flash of dark green caught his eye. He studied the back of the woman's head, her black hair in a neat chignon. She was dressed simply but expensively in a dark designer pantsuit complemented by the dark green scarf that identified her as the potential. Now, if only she'd turn her head, so that he could see her face.   
  
Obviously impatient, she checked her watch then abruptly looked over her shoulder.   
  
'She must have spotted the tail,' he thought absently.  
  
Then, he started in surprise as she looked straight at him with her piercing green eyes.  
  
'Nova...'  
  
He'd found her. 


End file.
